This weekend’s Yoga Teacher Training was another doozy. We did a lot of chakra work. Our teacher (Octavia Nasr) has an amazing amount of knowledge and provided us with what can only be described as a one of a kind experience. If you want to know more about Octavia and what/where she teaches, you can do so here. At any rate, we did a good deal of soul work and introspection through these chakra and meditation practices. Her favorite chakra – the throat chakra continued to come up for me in various ways. Like the universe was really getting with me.
Before training even began on Friday, I shared a story of a co-worker/mentor who politely got my shit together and reminded me that I need to stop apologizing for things where an apology is not needed. Men don’t do it. And for some reason women feel the need to apologize for EVERYTHING. Y’all I’m 40….but I still needed to be reminded to walk tall and not be apologizing for shit all the time! (That’s actually what she said to me.)
THEN – on Sunday morning, I had just finished journaling and was minding my own damn business when I saw a friend posted the below quote:
I read that and nearly chucked my phone across the room!!!! What is really…actually… going on. Then finally, this afternoon we got into our small groups and did a practice teach. I was super anxious. I don’t talk about this much but I suffer from impostor syndrome (we’ll dig a little deeper into this in a minute) and I’m always wrestling with this voice in my head that’s telling me I’m not good enough…or I’m not doing it right…or ultimately, you’re going to fail.
During the practice teach today I felt STRONG. And I spent a lot of time wrestling with that voice. It kinda of kept me from getting 100% from that experience to be real with yall. During the feedback session I shared that with my group. Do you know what one of them said to me? Do you know what one of them actually said to me fam?? “You are confident…and you know what you’re doing. You have a great energy about you. Don’t let IMPOSTOR SYNDROME stand in your way.”………………….I don’t know if she saw my eyes bug out of my head or not when use actually used the phrase “Impostor Syndrome” (which by the way if you’re curious about what that is, here is a short video that goes into detail.) Afterwards, I had to think of an affirmation that I would carry with me throughout this process: “I will un-apologetically use my voice”
Aside from the heart work, the way the body work was set up…..phew. Yoga is a practice to be respected. It really takes so much focus, dedication and courage to show up just as you are and give it your all. Salt baths have become my forever friend ❤ <3. I didn’t understand the value until I started using muscles I didn’t know I had LOL.
So here we are. One more week on the books. My heart is open and I am ready. Let’s go.